Before we begin, let me say that *I* cannot do this story justice, especially here, on your computer screen. (Or telephone or tablet, whatever the case may be.) There was nothing like hearing this story out of my mother's mouth, but I will do my best.
For those of you who never had the pleasure of meeting my mom, she's the one who isn't me... LOL
This was taken in 2007, I was 25. For this story, I am going to take you way back approximately 10 years prior to that (the actual timing is fuzzy, but that's not incredibly important here.)
Growing up, I didn't have a typical childhood. My dad was sick and in and out of the hospital a lot. He had something they eventually diagnosed as POEMS Syndrome, and even now there's not a wealth of knowledge about the disease. Dad was in a wheelchair, and had no use of his legs, and very little use of his arms. He had heart issues, a compromised immune system, and cancer-like symptoms as well, so hospital stays were usually several days long. During one of these stays, one of Mom's top front teeth fell out. Since her front teeth were fake, and she didn't have time (or money, likely) to go to the dentist to have it fixed right away, she had to do the best she could with what she had, and what she had was a tube of super glue.
I know what you're probably thinking. "She didn't!" Yep, she did. Well, sort of. She didn't glue the tooth IN, she glued it to the one next to it. She always claimed to be a "Jack of all Trades, master of none." Super glue dentistry was no exception here. Super glue will only hold a tooth for so long, so it was necessary for Mom to keep her trusty tube of glue in her purse. One night, while visiting Dad in the hospital, she needed to re-glue the tooth, so she went down to the first floor to the restroom.
While applying the glue to the tooth, it slipped out of her hand and bounced around in the sink. She grabbed the tooth out of there and almost put it in her mouth and stopped herself, because EWW, sink germs. She rinsed the tooth off, then looked around for a paper towel. No such luck, only a hand dryer, so she grabbed some toilet paper to dry the tooth. The glue she had previously applied was still tacky enough to make the toilet paper stick to it. She picked it off the best she could, then attempted to glue the tooth in again. This time, she had too much glue, and it glued her lip to the top of her tooth, like Elvis, only more permanent. She tried for a moment to unstick it, but it was too painful, so she left it. Besides, it was really late, so there shouldn't have been many people around at all...
As she boarded the elevator, another guy also got on. Mom tried and tried to keep from looking at the guy, but she could see him looking at her strangely out of the corner of her eye, so she finally turned to him as the elevator arrived at her floor, lip glued up, front teeth totally exposed with toilet paper glued in there and all, and said "Hey, how ya doin?" then walked off the elevator, leaving the guy stunned as the doors closed again.
She made it back to Dad's room, and explained to him why her mouth looked like it did. About 20 minutes later, Dad said to her "You could put your purse down, you know."
She said "I can't. It's glued to my hand."
